Ben Stein, bestselling author of
How to Ruin Your Life
How to Ruin Your Love Life
And below is:
How to Ruin Your Financial Life
Quotes:
The world rest on three pillars: on money, on money, and on money. -East Europe proverb
No money, no life. -cONFUCIAN axioms
"It is hard to be bitter when you are as rich as I am" -BOBSTER, BOY DYLAN
"Nobility is riches santified by long passage of time." English saying
"Begin at once, and do the best you can"
"If nothing changes, then nothing changes."-if you keep doing you've been doing, then you will get the same results you have always got.
you should get moving right now on accomplishing your goals, because the more time you have t work on them, the more likely you are to attain them.
And then there's some old saw about how a journey is more likely to get finished if you start early in the morning.
How to Ruin Your Fiancial Life: (these advices are to be checked, the more you find yourself matching, the more easily and likely you ruin your financial life, or in danger of so doing, if not now, soon)
1. Forget about tomorrow
2.Know with certainty that there will never be any rainy days in your life
3.Remember that your pace of mind is a lot more important than the few pennies you'll save
4.Save Money only when you feel like it, and if you just don't feel like saving, then don't!
5.Don't bother to learn anything at all about investing
6.Spend as much as you want, and don't be afraid to go into debt
7. Set up a High-Profile, High-Consumption Lifestyle with enormous fixed expenses
8.Compete with your friends to see who can spent the most
9. Don't balance your checkbook or keep track of what you spend
10.Forget to pay your taxes
11.Truely believe that you're only as valueable as what you own
12. Collect as Many Credit cards as you can, and you them frequently
13.As soon as you've succeeded in maxing out your credit cards...get new ones!
14. When you get your credit-card Bill, pay only the minimum each month
15.know in your heart of hearts that you will never run out of money
16. Repeat after me:"I am not responsible for my financial well-being"
17.Trust that there's always more money coming in
18.Lend money to your friends-especially your girlfriend or boyfriend
19. Learn the Ultimate Rule of Success-Money
20. Play lady-or Lord-Bountiful by shelling out Money to everyone around you
21. Don't think about retirement -It's a L-O-0-N-N-G Way Off....
22. Choose a broker based on his(or her) Good looks, Fashion Sense, and Gift of Gab
23. Attend a "Free" Financial Seminar, and follow the advice they "sell" you to the letter
24. Rest assured that if a person is quoted in The Wall Street Journal or on TV, She or he Must be able to forecast the stock market
25. Don't Pay any attention to Finacial Experts who urge you to diversity - the stock market is always the best and only place to be!
27. Convince yourself that you can beat the market without knowing anything about it
28.Carve it in stone: "Average" returns in the stock market aren't good enough for you!
29: Don't waste your time iwth a broker works for a well-known Firm - Go with that Nimble Little Fellow who sent you spam on the internet
30. Act fast! Those stock tips you heard about in the locker room have real value
31. Don't be satisfied to just buy and hold-rapid trading is the key to wealth
32. Invest in penny stocks
33. To make real money , go on Margin!
34. Believe in "Black Box" Trading methods Pitched to you by some wizard in a Fancy suit
35. Put all your eggs in one basket-'Cause Only Sissies Diversify
36. Ignore Investment fees and expenses-They're just Nickels and Dimes
37. Buy and Read newletters about investing, and do exactly waht they say
38. make sure you never hold your financial adviser or broker accountable - you want him to your friend
39. If your investment program isn't producing good results, keep doing the same thing anyway
40. If taking charge of your financial life seems overwhelming Now, just put it off for a few more years
41. Start a business with inadequate capital - in a difficult field and in a difficult location
42. Don't worry about buying stocks when there is a bubble going on-you'll always know when to sell out just before the bubble bursts
43.If getting your finances together seems too difficult at any given time, turn everything over to a financial/business manager who will have total control over your money
44.Believe that you can get rich quick-that you can get somethng for nothing
45. Know without a doubt that you don't have to work hard-you only need to find an angle
46. Do not buy a home-a free spirit like you does not need to put down roots
47. Feel confident that you can borrow your way out of any problem
48. Rest assure that shopping is perfectly valid form of emotional and physical excercise-whether you need what you're buying or not
49. Carefully pore over all those catalogs you get in the mail, and order them late at night or when you're feeling lonely
50. Don't sweat the small stuff -- after all, $10 or $20 a day doesn't really add up to much!
51. Fina a man or woman with really expensive tastes and reckless financial habits-and Marry Him or Her!
52.Get seperated and Divorced Frequently
53. Don't keep records
54. Gamble with your money
55. Don't bother to provide for your Spouse or your children
32.
posted @
2013-02-19 11:44 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(75) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏
发泄的欲望是与生俱来的吧？像是要生蛋的母鸡，不生就憋得慌。
才决心戒微博，就刷刷刷地写了数篇随笔，还好不像微博，不会干扰到别人。微博唯一的不好是，你一更新，别人就看见，你写多少，别人屏幕上就会刷新出多长，这样占别人的资源，所以微博发多就总觉得小小歉疚，不好意思，虽然他们可以不看，毕竟也得刷屏不是。
博客真好，隐私，自己清清静静地。不能再写了，要接儿子去了。拖延成恶习呀，本来要去Canadian Tire 去看儿童汽车座椅的，现在恐怕晚了。慢跑的时间也没了，只能接了儿子直接回家了。
今天pending的事，就是我拖着该做没做的事：
1. 打电话，报驾校。
2. 学法语，more
3. 去看儿童汽车座椅
4. 咨询法语课
5. Update CV, job search
6. YMCA
7. 解决手机欠费问题
8. 。。。。没有啦。。。
没在计划中却做了的事，writing.
posted @
2013-02-05 05:55 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(50) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏谁不渴望幸福快乐的生活呢？
别人的幸福总是看得我们眼里笑，心里酸。我们为别人高兴，为自己心酸。我也想有，可是我没有。
幸福快乐，说简单也简单。幸福快乐，不一定要如何如何。房，车，钞票，爱人，孩子，固然是样样都有，样样如意才称心，但是不称心也可以幸福快乐。人生过去一半，才慢慢悟道： 原来我可以不为幸福快乐设置条件，我只需选择：无论如何都快乐，都感觉幸福。
觉得幸福快乐，不一定要没事傻乐呵，对自己满足，对生活满足，就是快乐。年轻时给幸福快乐设置了许多条件，条件不满足，方程式不成立。现在懂得了，不需要方程式。
昨天乘坐地铁，超市购物袋被夹着，一个年轻人毫不犹豫冲上去帮着掰开门。今天早上起来，太阳明晃晃地照在头上。家人都健康，日子平常，不如意的事自然有，可是谁又没有呢？
西人说： count your blessings,就能幸福快乐。可不是嘛？你忽略了身边所有的好事，一心只想着缺憾，缺憾自然不缺，总有那么几桩几十米桩。你想得全身不好的，自然觉得不幸福，不快乐。每天想想身边的好事，无论大小，都更容易感受到幸福快乐。
地球总是一半黑，一半白，白天还是黑夜，单看你站在哪个角度去看。
posted @
2013-02-05 05:45 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(67) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏
想练习写作，最好的途径无非每天写写。
有人问某作家，如何如何才能写得好？作家答：写就是了，写得多了，自然好。
有人问某作家，如何才知道自己有没有才华？是不是写作的材料？作家答： 有才华自然会耐不住每天写，没才华憋也憋不出来。
我不求成“家”，只想写写。
每天写写，记录点滴生活，每天写写，记录自己的成长。好像有的导演志气非凡，一定要有惊世之作，有的导演只想拍记录片，记录真实的生活。每天写写，像拍照片似的，留个影，留个念想。
流年似水，逝者难追，我随便写写，供以后老的我回忆 -- 哦，原来那时的我是这样的，是这样想的，是这样做的。
posted @
2013-02-05 05:34 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(48) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏儿子在幼儿园里，总是被老师投诉。国内时如此，来加拿大也不改其辙。
接儿子时，老师经常爱拉着我说，你儿子今天又：她们用手比划，做出拍打动作。你和谈谈吧。我陪笑点头，好的，我和他谈谈。
总在回家路上，我问：健健，你今天又打小朋友了吗？健健一脸无辜： 我记不得了呀。
健健，今天老师又找妈妈谈话了，你今天拍打小朋友了吗？健健一脸无辜： 我没有啊。
健健，我叹气：你别让老师总是和妈妈谈话了，好吗？妈妈不喜欢这样。
健健点点头。有一天，我做了一件对他心思的事，他很乖的伏在我耳边说：妈妈，你表现很好，我准备给你个惊喜，就是今天不让老师和我谈话了，今天我们班那个人再打我，我不还手打他了。这样老师就不会和你谈话了。
我听了，追问他，是不是班上有个小朋友总爱打他，他点点头。我心里默想了一会儿说：如果那个小朋友又打你，你先让老师知道。老师不知道是他先打了你，老师只看见你打他了，没看见他打你，所以会以为是你在调皮捣乱。你和妈妈说，那个小朋友是谁？叫什么名字？妈妈会和老师谈谈。
健健摇摇头。
那么今天去幼儿园，你指出来是哪个小朋友，给妈妈看。妈妈会告诉老师，让她和他谈谈。
健健又摇摇头。
最后我只好说，那好吧，你不能先动手打人，然后我顿一下，犹豫之后果断的说：如果别人先打了你，你可以打回去。
我不知道自己该不该这么教他，但我不是教圣人，要他以德报怨，也不是要教出一个耶稣，让他左脸给人打了，就把右脸也扭过去给人打。让我儿子不欺负人，这个我自然要教他，但是要他“打不还手”，我不能做到。健健不要妈妈和老师的参与，不愿意告状，那么由他自己解决，但是我不能再要求他：你别打小朋友，他们打你你也不能打他。
他一个亚洲小孩来到西人社会，语言也不通，老师错怪了也无法解释。妈妈不能再委屈他只挨打不还手。我错了吗？也许，但是这样的错，我比较能心安。
posted @
2013-02-05 05:26 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(52) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏
看来微博得戒了。今儿提前拜了年，准备戒一周微博。不登录，不查看，不发布。
有点儿瘾头了就不好，上了瘾就说明有依赖性，有依赖性说明有问题。抽烟有烟瘾，喝酒有酒瘾，上网有网瘾，赌博有赌瘾。干嘛都有瘾，跑步会上瘾，练字会上瘾，画画看书，下棋打牌，都会上瘾，工作上瘾叫工作狂，吸毒上瘾叫瘾君子。健康的，利己不损人的瘾，可以继续，但是害己不利人的，就得及早戒了。
我得戒微博了，因为每天看，有事没事，上去看看。自己发，也浏览。固然增广见闻，友人互动了，可是实在是耗费时间。刷屏刷几次，一个小时就过去了。微博里有新闻，有知识，但是都有限。我意识到自己是逃避，逃避做自己该做的事，学法语，找工作。
我得戒微博了，看看会怎样。保准世界依旧太平，地球仍然东转。
嘻嘻，今天在这里信誓旦旦，想上微博时，就来写博客。从mini-blog, 到blog, 也算是进步一小步。
posted @
2013-02-05 05:11 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(53) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏
原版电影《红磨坊》是个传记故事，以法国后印象派画家Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec为原型塑造。
传记故事的魅力在于，它试图向你真实的再现，一个人一生走过的路，怎样曲曲折折成就了后来的自己。一些看似不幸的事件，反而最终成为把人物推上高台的砖石，然后在当时，却只能忍受不幸的摧残。当局者总是迷惑迷失的，只有局外人，看着人物兜兜转转，最终停止在终点，才清楚地看见人生的各种起承转合。
Henri少年罹疴，双腿停止发育导致身材矮小，行走不便。他受尽他人嘲讽耻笑，因此愤世嫉俗。他行动不便，所以喜欢去《红磨坊》画画写生，他自己能静不能动，所以特别擅长捕捉社会场景里的人物动作。他饱饮人生冷暖后，把热心肠收起，不轻易让人走进心里。他由少年变成成年，为保护自己，心的外层慢慢长出一层硬痂，然而内里依然柔软。
凡常女子，无法打开他的痂，触及他的柔软。却是一个社会底层的风尘女子，一个丛林里的食肉野猫似的女人，闯入了他的心。他平生第一次恋爱了，小心守护得很紧，心墙还是被这个女子撞破了。然而这个女人并不真的爱他，所以当他恋爱，当他的柔软被一个犀利的爪牙捕获时，他成了任由对方蹂躏的可怜玩物。他母亲前来看望被恋爱摧残的身心俱废的儿子时问：她是怎样一个女人？他的回答很简单，诚实： she loves me as the way I am, not tall, not handsome, just the way I am.
其实，每个人想要的，不都是这么简单吗？被完全地接纳。他一直没有遇到，以为在一个妓女身上遇见了，就不顾一切的恋爱了。然而这是一个幻灭，妓女醉酒后也恶语吐真言：她嘲笑他的矮小，他的瘸腿，她厌恶他，她一点儿也不曾接受过他，她在他身边，无非是为钱。她残忍的利用了他的好心，他的柔情，然后像动物撕裂猎物一样，撕裂了他之后又抛弃他。自此后，他高筑心墙，不再相信爱。
当Henri遇见他这一生唯一真正爱他的女人时，他已经给自己的心穿上了厚厚的铠甲，他把自己保护的严严实实，一丝不漏---他不再让自己受伤，也不再让自己爱。他错过了幸福，沉迷于酒精。唯有绘画，是他唯一的表达。
正因为画家这样的经历，这样的情绪，所以他的画面里都是动作，都是活色生香的场景。他对笔下人物的处理，即富有同情 ，又是抽离的。
Herni 死时36岁，他的画在他生前就被选进了卢浮宫。
世上流传着Henri的画，却不曾给他尝过半点儿幸福。
posted @
2013-02-02 02:59 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(177) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏失眠了，在床上躺了很久，换了一次床，从自己卧室跑到儿子卧室的床上，听着不同的鼻息，也还是睡不着。
都是今天学法语太用功了吧，睡前在脑子里过了一遍今天学过的法语，大脑被刺激幸兴奋了？要么就是老公感冒的鼻息声太重，要么就是因为提前陪儿子睡了一觉，十一点多醒来回自己房间扰乱了睡眠？要么就是心事太多？房子还没卖掉，父母老弱，自己工作没着落，是否做自己的旅游开发，如果做起来三年后又回国了，生意怎么做下去？三年后是否能留，是否想留？在这个“他乡”？这里什么好？最突出的是两样，空气干净，食物放心。这里工业污染也有，食品安全问题也有，只是和国内比简直是“No Problem". 要不要申请移民，要不要留下？我们喜欢这里，想留下，然而留下又有太多怀念牵挂：父母年高，在自己的祖国，自己的家，说自己的语言，身边有自己的朋友，没有漂泊感多好。可是环境污染令人揪心，每天都呼吸的空气，变得每时每刻都在侵害健康，年轻人患癌的渐多，呼吸道疾病成第一杀手。总不能不呼吸，不出门吧？这个问题，任何令个人感到无能为力的问题，都会令人感到焦虑。食品问题，小孩子教育问题。想想国内的教育，学知识是好的，压力出人才，可是畸形。对于一个人身心的全面发展，对于一个人性格的培养，创造力的培养，就不是一个健康的环境。加拿大也有它的教育问题，学校里也有Bully，不知他会适应的如何？只是他淘气不拘的性格，在这里会得到更人性的尊重和对待，不会在严格的应试教育下被压扁。看看睡眠中的儿子，逐渐确信：来这里是对的，干净的空气，相对纯静的生活，没那么喧嚣浮躁，对小孩子的成长是好的。那么就开始申请移民，争取留下来吧，为了他，也为我们自己，还有相对自由的空气。可是那就意味着漂泊感会一直相随，对父母会一直抱歉。
想东想西，脑细胞也无法沉静。抬腿呼吸，身体也还是无法放松。干脆起来吧，打开客厅的灯，看看时钟1：30.很少这么晚睡，看书还是上网呢？翻了两页书，还是决定上网。打开电脑，Nifix网页上居然推荐着汤姆汉克斯的老片： SleepLess In Seattle。 单瞄一眼题目，就觉得讽刺。电影里他儿子的台词说： He Never Sleeps 怎么可能呢？他夜里一直不睡，干嘛呢？仰望星空一晚上？白天照样工作？又不是铁人。怀疑自己明天是否还起得来跑步，写写疏散一下满脑子混乱的情绪和想法。现在去睡了。
除了刚来时倒时差那周，来蒙特利尔后还没失眠过。算了，睡眠，我不追你了，等你来寻我吧。
posted @
2013-01-30 15:17 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(122) |
评论 (2) |
编辑 收藏爱你，这次是对自己说。
大多数人都觉得爱他人比爱自己容易，虽然许多时候我们不愿意承认，但是有多少人从心里认真地对自己说过：爱你。
指责自己是常有的，做错的时候。表扬自己也有的，做得出色的时候。自鸣得意的时候，是有的，自恋自怜的时候，也都有的。但是这些都不是真正意义上的爱。当我们真正爱一个人时，我们的心变得很柔软，很宽阔，我们完全接纳，不挑剔，不指责，我们只是接受，懂得，包容，欣赏。真正的爱，不是每个人都能遇见，都能给你。这样的爱，如若来自同性，从此成为挚友，如若来自异性，必定神魂与之。
世上真正懂得爱的人不多，而盗爱之名的行为，却很多。我们真正能爱的人，也有限，然能真正爱自己的，则更少。爱他人较爱自己要容易。因为羞涩，因为传统，我们羞于爱自己。对自己的爱被克制，压抑 ---人生大多时候，我们部分的接纳自己，部分的否定自己。接纳的部分令我们自豪，否定的部分令我们自卑。用别人的眼光看自己，用别人的尺子量自己，我们怎么都不够好，不够完美，不够赢得自己无条件的爱。于是我们无法爱自己，狠心地对自己说： 你还不够好。赢得他人的爱很不容易，殊不知赢得自己的爱，也非容易。
有多少人的青春，甚至一生，不是活在别人一笔一笔给自己绘的素描里？自己究竟是谁？自己究竟是否值得爱？你有没有无条件的爱过自己？
你有很多理由不满自己，却没有理由不爱自己。首先这个身体，这个你灵魂此生寄居的家，你爱它吗？ 它是你唯一的家，你此生不能“搬家”，也不能“赁”“售”“转租”。你若恒加爱护，它便长久宜居，你若不加爱惜，它便破败毁坏，经不起四季风雨。有钱修缮，也难得安住。
再者，这个身体里寄宿的灵魂，你爱你的灵魂吗？灵魂，就是那个“我”。那个你每天面对，每时每刻在你左右，如影随行的“我”。“我”言语行动，“我”感受体验，“我”看着我自己，检视着我自己。如同抬头三尺的神灵，一刻也未曾放松。
这样的身体，这样的灵魂，融而为一，成就了这世上独一无二的你。
“我” 当然不完美？ 有谁是完美的呢？接纳自己，因为自己是自己唯一生死相随的伴侣。父母，朋友，爱人，儿女，都有可能有一天离你而去，而唯一会陪伴你至死的，是你自己。你是你最长久的伴侣，你是你最忠实的朋友，你是朝朝暮暮，陪着自己走过这一生的人，你有什么理由不爱自己？
爱自己，不是自恋。自恋是陶醉于自己的某些优点，无限关注和放大那个优点。爱自己，是黑白都看见，知道并容许黑白的存在。天也有黑夜白昼，人怎么可能盈而无亏？
爱自己，像爱一个朋友，爱一个爱人那样。我们怎么爱朋友，爱人？我们陪伴，我们原谅，我们鼓励。有些女孩子容易在爱人离开后就自暴自弃，仿佛他不爱你，你就一文不值，他不给你幸福，你就痛苦，他若离开，你就天黑。其实，我们可以告诉自己：即使全世界都离弃了你，我也永远爱你，做自己最好的爱人，你会发现自己更可爱，更美丽。当你不再需要外面的风日雨露也能滋润地生长，美丽的绽放的时候，你就有了一种遗世独立的美。那种美，是有力量的美，坚强的美，生命的美。你见过的那些真正散发着迷人魅力的人，无论男女，他们的魅力根源，缘于这样的爱，这样强大的内心。
你也可以，让自己的生命绽放出那样的美丽，从今天开始，对自己说：爱你。
posted @
2013-01-29 12:46 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(72) |
评论 (0) |
编辑 收藏Snowing again.
Grey sky, grey tress, white fence, white snow.
I watched out the window, snow dancing madly in the air, busy about falling. What's the rush? You will fall, you will hit the ground, you stay there for a while, and you disappear again. Such is life, birth, live, and dealth claim it all.
With the glass panel on the window, I feel isolated from the outward world. I am in my own enclosed world, like a silkwarm in its little cocoon. I shalll get out more, some friend may say, but out to where? I pity the time wasted on the journey, and what is so worthy of my time than spending time alone here? Of course it gets bored, crazily boring as it can be, but then there is always so much on the "to do" list. Listen to this CD, read that book, clean the dishes, do the laundry, fold up the clothe, make the bed, make that phone call....
I am not working, but the work one can do at home can go on and on amazingly long. But, I am not being paid. No one is paying me, that means I have no income. Oh, what a joy it is to have income, to have the financial freedom to dispose money as one wishes. Yet there is one thing positive about been pennyless, you learn to live with less. It reduces your ever rising desires when you have no matching means to chase it up. You learn the simplicity of living with less.
Eating, cooking, cleaning, all seemed such a waste of time. And how I hated it, when I have to standing there longer than half an hour, with tap open, water running, cleaning the dishes. That is when I get the motivation to work for a paid job, insteand of being a house wife.
Take away all the non-essentials, then the truth becomes barren. You just have bear with the unpleasant circumstance a while longer. I knew I will learn French one day, the strange running noise will run out from my mouths too, and make perfect sense to others. And people even become amazed to learn, I taught myself French in, say 6 months. But before that happens, it is this long, painful, annoying dragging on hours of repeat and repeat, tuning my ears to the wierd sound of French tongue. I am talented in language, given the way I learned English, but French is requiring more than talent, it requires patience, fortitude, and resilence.
People who work, and get paid for it, have a feeling of self-worth. If you are being paid a lot of money, then you have a reason to believe you must be good at it, and if you are paid more than most of your peers, that means you must be better than most of them. It is like playing soccer in a team, the top players get paid more. It seems to be true everywhere, if not so at the beginning, the situation will soon correct itself.
So where is the value of a housewife? Who has no peers, unless her husband is a middle eastern, who does have many legal wives. And a wife doesn't get paid, so how does she feel her value? Has she been valued for her work? Or under valued? Like some of these you secretively called "losers" ? A wife, is feeling her value through the attitude she is being treated by her husband. If he recognize her value, and appreciate her work, he would respect her, treatly her kindly and gently, and lovingly. He will never address himself proudly as the "bread-winner", but humbly saying" we are just doing different things."
Society is an ocean, and we are all canons floating upon it, or sinking, like some people do. We anchor our direction with becons, and then it is better to find items that is eternally right, like North is north, than using your neighbour Jones as a direction, for then you'll get lose fast.
Snow is falling, helplessly, irriversibly. And watching them falling through the glass window panel, I meditated, upon life.
Another snow day, in Canada Montreal. And I am here, in my rented house, living through another snow day.
posted @
2013-01-29 04:18 Sunshine 万里长空 阅读(93) |
评论 (1) |
编辑 收藏